Dear tourists…
17 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
in General, London Tags: tourists
…pressing the buttons on tube doors doesn’t do anything. Pressing it more than once still doesn’t make a difference.
…it’s ‘Mind the closing doors’ not ‘Why the close the doors?’ nor is it ‘Mime across the floors’ or any other insane phrase you believe it is.
…standing on the left-hand-side of the escalator is generally frowned upon.
…please know that walking like a sloth out of stations on busy stairs, whilst holding a map is highly annoying. Wait until you get outside please!
…standing directly in front of the train doors with large backpacks will not let get on any faster. TFL says let people off the train first so where do you think you should be standing….hmm?
…please do no take photographs of me in the background of your holiday photo’s whilst I’m passing you on travelators, stairs, corridors or escalators. Whilst grumpy English people in the background would make your photo’s more authentic, I don’t like having my photo taken.
…refrain from taking photographs of yourselves standing halfway out of a telephone box, posing like you’re Dame Edna. Or spend ages pretending to use the phone when someone is waiting to use the phone.
…don’t stop in the middle of a busy street to only then extend your arm to point at something whilst looking behind you. Did you not see me coming towards you from about a metre away? Yes, I was being brushed along by the crowd which was why I had bumped into you and knocked your arm out-of-the-way.
…don’t jump queues or cut in front of anyone! Yes we English love queueing, but we react severely to those who push in! We don’t care if you’re more thirsty or you only have to ask one question. Get in line and wait your turn!
…putting your foot, hands or head to stop the tube doors from closing is highly irritating. Pressing the open door buttons again will fail to do anything. The tube runs every 2-4 minutes, wait for the next one!
…don’t fake an English accent. You’ll look and sound stupid. It’s insulting and it won’t make you sound any clearer. We don’t all sound like the queen either!
…don’t take pictures of everything such as pillars, road signs, flowers, trees, gates, people eating, dogs peeing, pigeons waddling…or indeed me sitting down eating a sandwich…surely it’s not that interesting?
I love you all really, but sometimes…only sometimes, you make my daily life rather more difficult. I’m sure you have worse complaints about British tourists! Care to share?
