the joys of arguing in French

08 Sep 2011 2 Comments

by chunga in Arguing, French, Languages, Life, Paris, people, tourists, Travel

I’ve been trying to teach myself French these past few weeks – just for fun! I also love the sound of the French accent.

I thought to share my favourite phrases in French when arguing because they tickle me somewhat.

Learning any new language through arguing is always intriguing and I think very entertaining!

looking for trouble?

Despite your funny English accent when speaking in French, they can laugh all they want but surprise them by giving as good as you get such as responding to Tu me cherches?  Are you looking for trouble?

T’as un problème ? Got a problem? / C’est quoi, ton problème ?  What exactly is your problem?

Easy to remember – bit boring though.

C’est à moi que tu parles ? / C’est à moi que tu causes ? Are you talking to me?
Add ‘Punk’ at the end of this one for fun. ;o)
Qu’est-ce que tu racontes ? What are you talking about?
When someone is not making any sense, going off on a tangent or annoyingly trying to relate something random into the argument, say this. You may genuinely not have a clue about what they’re talking about or you could pretend.

Tu veux ma photo ? What are you looking at?
If their look, glance or stare is offensive.

Tu me cherches ? Are you looking for me?
Like in the films…you ask for someone, the dude turns round and says ‘Tu me cherches?’. A few stools fall over, people suddenly edge away from you and the dude squares up to you with clenched fists…uh oh!

nosy or annoying people

When French men/women are making unwelcome advances on you or asking forward/awkward questions. This will sort them out!

T’occupe! Mind your own business! (you nosy parker!)
Shortened from Ne t’occupe pas de ça which literally translates to ‘Do not worry about that’.

Fais-moi des vacances !  Give me a break.
Literally means ‘Give me a holiday’.

Lâche-moi les baskets ! Give me a break!
Literally means ‘Let go of my tennis shoes. ‘ – funny one but not so common. Probably more for the older lot.

Lâche-moi la grappe! same meaning as above
But I believe this translates to ‘Let go of my bunches’?

Laisse tomber!  Forget it!

Tu m’emmerdes !  You’re annoying me.
Literally means ‘You’re pooing on me!’ – very informal obviously and is most used. So Tu m’emmerdes avec tes questions means ‘You’re annoying me with your questions!’

Tu me fais chier ! You’re a pain in the ass/you’re really getting on my nerves/you’re really pissing me off.
I like this one. Literally it means ‘You make me shit!’. Again, very informal but oh so effective!

Tu me prends la tête ! You’re doing my head in!
A favourite of mine, perhaps because a lot of people do my head in without realising it…
Literally it means ‘You are taking my head’

Tu me gonfles! Don’t push it!/Don’t push your luck!/I’d stay quiet if I were you…
If you feel like you’re about to explode and want to warn them, this is the phrase. It literally means ‘You’re inflating me’ to a point where you’ll explode or pop.

Ta gueule!  Shut up!
Classic! ;o)

are you taking the piss?

If someone is mocking or teasing you and you want to confront them, this is how you can start some trouble!

Tu te fous de ma gueule, ou quoi ? Are you making fun of me, or what? / Do you think I’m an idiot? / Do you really think I’m going to believe this bullsh&t?
I love this one. Often the reply is ‘oui, tu es!!’ and then I can really let out the big guns! The grammar is a bit confusing so just memorise the expression.

Tu as bu, ou quoi ? You must be joking! / You’re crazy!
Literally means ‘Are you drunk, or what?’ When you want to deny something is true by questioning their intelligence or credibility of evidence. Or you want to say something like ‘That’s absolutely absurd that you would think that!’.

Or you can use it to helpfully tell someone what they’re about to do or suggest to do is really stupid.

The French also use the expression ‘You smoke too much (weed)’ as a way of saying that they’re crazy as well. In which case you can use the following:

Faut arrêter de fumer ! Literally means ‘You must stop smoking!’

Tu as trop fumé ! Literally means ‘You smoked too much!’

Tu as trop fumé la moquette ! Literally means ‘You smoked the carpet too much’ (you smoked so much that it made you crazy) – this one is ace!

Tu as trop tiré sur le chichon ! Translates as ‘You smoke too much pipe!’ (a pipe for smoking drugs)

Non, mais, t’es pas bien ! You’re really mad! / You’re absolutely mental!
This pretty much describes me to a T!

Tu me prends pour qui ? / Qu’est-ce qu’il y a marqué, ici ? (*) Who do you think I am? / Do you think I’m completely stupid? / What do you take me for?
The latter litterally translates as “What does it say here?” Combine a finger pointing at your forehead. Use when it’s obvious you are not the fool and that they are!

J’hallucine ! I can’t believe what I am seeing or hearing / I am hallucinating

C’est l’hallu totale ! It’s total hallucination/boll*cks!

C’est pas vrai ! It’s not true!

Je rêve ! I’m dreaming / This can’t be real!

J’y crois pas ! I can’t believe it!

Enjoy!